What’s in a relationship?

God. Love. Commitment.

The center and the source should be God. He first loved us. He created us to protect us. To nurture us. So to simplify all of these, God wanted to express His love to and for us, His chosen children. And the most powerful thing He did was to sacrifice His Son to save us! Isnt that wooow!!! Oh what kind of love enables that!

Now He wants to show us how to love others. Unconditional with pure intentions. Because we ought to have a healthy, strong and everlasting relationship.

Being involved in a relationship, God intends to make us more precious by doing all the necessary honing and molding. He cuts off all the fears and washes away all the doubts that had long been sitting in your heart. He replaces all your worries and pessimism with optimism. These all could take a lot of courage yes. But even that courage could come from Him. This is the kind of relationship we have with God. He will provide you all that you need. All thats required of you. As long as youd ask Him for it.

So yes we become the best version of ourselves. But why need to become the best? Easy. Because whoever that is that God has in store for you is the best as well. Both of you should keep up with each other. And the only One who could possibly do that is Him. He is the ultimate symbol of love. Whatever standards or ideals we have in relationships they all should come from what He had showed us.

Theyre all interrelated. God. Love. Commitment. With commitment comes clarity. And courage. From the very beginning there’s that explicit definition of ‘where youre both going’. And that is the union designed by God, marriage. Now why is it hard for some people to justify that a relationship should be clear right from the start? More importantly to both of you? I believe this has to do with commitment. The willingness to surrender oneself and immerse his whole life to and for the other person. To know that the bond should be unbreakable. Should be. Yes. When one is willing to commit and the other isnt, do we call it a relationship? No. It is just a questionable utterance of unsure emotions. Just emotions.

Now, where does commitment come from? Intentions. If a person’s goal in pursuing someone is marriage, then his commitment has already been fueled. There’s this line in between someone saying someday i will marry you. And in saying, lets just take it slow. Does being slow result to marriage? Maybe yes? But how about when theres no consistency? Are you being fast when youre sending signs of intending to marry someone? Well, when equipped with all the labor and the thriving to show him/her that youre not just interested but willing. All i can say is, a person ready to commit is consistent in thoughts, words and actions. Yes marriage takes time and effort. This i will agree. It involves careful planning. It involves a lot of decision making. It is a choice to start and remain in a relationship. But one must know that part of the stages of a budding relationship is letting the other person know what your intentions are. This makes you say yes more to the person. The sense of security would be there. Now i think the word i should mention here is courtship. Getting to know each other yes. But even in this stage, everything should be clear to both of you. Why you both agree that friendship is a great foundation. Why stay there first. Why you care. Why this early, loyalty must be established. And thats because both of you want to commit with the right and godly intentions.

Lets talk about fear. It sometimes is the shadow behind unclear ‘commitments’. Fear leads to denial of ones true feelings. Fear causes one to shut up. To choose silence over expression. To say nothing at all. Even if theres that act of caring. Which only leads to series of confusions because nothing has been said, as it is, nothing is clear. Its as if nothing is being pursued. All you do is ask. What am i to this person? Am i special? Or just someone to play his game with?

I would point out here how important friendship is. It is that part where you stay connected, sharing each other’s routines, beliefs, values and principles. Even ones struggles, disappointments and fears. In knowing a person deeper, you both observe each other’s compatibility and differences. And as the relationship develops you both will know if you need an ‘upgrade’. Key to that would be good communication. Those that you both hear, see, feel and grow from. Hear because something is said. See because something is done. Feel because something is expressed. Grow because you both remember youre still two people who need to flourish individually. Both of you should acknowledge how important that is.

Equally mature people who come to unite becomes stronger when their foundation is God and friendship. The love and commitment are made more evident by God. Nothing is certain yes. Nothing yet is apparent yes. When we only lean on our own understanding. Our way, not His. But when we seek God, He will define everything for you. That all you have to do is open your eyes and receive that person in your life. And everything that should be in a relationship is present. It may not be all perfect. But because God is your Manipulator, that peace will finally reside in your heart. That both of you will choose each other to love and to hold, for the rest of your lives. The two of you being connected intimately with God.

aj

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