I was inspired today to write about my dreams. Suddenly I realized I stopped dreaming! Because I have nothing to start with. I recalled every dream I had when I was a child and it’s funny because in those days I felt being thirty meant being old. Old as in successful. Old as in mature. Old as in independent. Old as in never scared. I had thoughts that growth would stop when you reach thirty and everything will be constant after that. Yet here I am thirty and wondering on ‘where’ my next chapter would be. Is it going to be here? Is it going to be somewhere? Where would my ‘next’ home be? Would that be the last? Everything seem unsure. And the more I realize that this, being 30, comes with more confusing twists. I create my future roles in life. But at the back of my head questions like, Am I going to be a good wife? A good mother?, still exist. Those dreams I was very sure will all happen before, now are paired with uncertainties.
Now what is my dream? I thought deeper. And they all just keep coming as I’m writing this.
To become at peace with my life. To learn to be content in what I will achieve in the future. This doesn’t mean I would sit around and wait for higher successes to come and kiss me, without giving life a good fight at what is thrown at me. No! My dream is to be courageous. More of it so whatever unexpected things happen you’ll see me there fighting. Not retreating. May that fight be mine or with the people I love.
My dream is to have a heart of compassion and passion. To be more selfless and giving. And to be true to my principles and values. I think that would be easier to influence others. Another dream of mine. To be a good example. I would never be perfect. I would have mistakes. I would trip, I would commit wrong decisions. But I want people to see that they are not alone at being imperfect and at the same time make them realize that every fall is a lesson learned. And in every lesson one gains experience. Experience that forever will be in their hearts. Rooted, therefore easily radiated to others. My dream is to read a lot. Write a lot. Be excellent at this. Not to prove anything but to express everything. These pieces of words sitting side by side are expressions on how life works with you. Or even if it doesn’t. Nevertheless, these words are your blood ink. The very words that circulates your brain. Each is a work of art from the inside of the writers beating heart.
I dream to be a master of patience. Its one of the virtues of great necessity these days. I believe so. In today’s morally imbalance world where everything seem instant and many have become arrogant because of easy information access, i wish i had the longest patience to understand hard people.
I dream to be healthy. Physically, mentally, emotionally and most importantly, spiritually. I well understand how impossible these would all be without God. I guess that’s the ultimate dream. To be persistent with my relationship with God. Because He is the Key. The only Way!